Dear God: New Year’s Edition, 2023

Christian, , , , , , , , , ,

Dear God,

While most people are busy trying to live up to their New Year’s resolutions right now, I’m sitting here relaxed because, for the first time in many, many years, I have chosen not to make any such promises to myself to change my self-professed bad habits. Outside of walking closer with You and spending more time in the Word, prayer and praising You, I’ve decided not to make a list of what I hope to successfully overcome throughout the year ahead, but to instead focus on improving things one at a time without the list that begins on the first day of this new year and ends on the last. I chose to do this because every year for as long as I can remember I have made resolutions and then failed at them miserably by the middle of January. That always leads to self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy because I can’t seem to follow a simple diet and exercise plan or keep my promises for a cleaner, more organized house, and the list goes on and on. I know You know that I have a running list in my head of things I’d like to accomplish this year, but by refusing to write them down I feel like I am giving myself permission to keep trying even when I may be failing a little bit. I’m not saying that there aren’t things that don’t need improvement in me, because there certainly are, but what I am saying is that I won’t write them down and then beat myself up at the end of this year when I look back and realize just how little I managed to successfully complete from my list of “New Year’s Resolutions”.

While this idea of writing down or declaring resolutions works for so many people, Lord, I have found that for myself it only leads to disappointments and regrets because I am such a perfectionist. That’s the type of personality that You gave me but now You are teaching me how to bring out the best of that personality trait through relying on You and Your guidance daily. You are teaching me to let things go and not work so hard to be absolutely perfect because You do love me just as I am. Trying to be perfect is an impossible dream and I’m not trying to live up to that any longer. You’ve shown me that life is just too short to be filled with regrets and feeling like a failure all the time. I’m just choosing to keep my head free and clear of things that take away my joy or make me feel as if I don’t measure up to the rest of the world just because I can’t keep to a list of changes that need to be done in one year’s time. And it’s been kind of freeing, to be honest, but You already knew that it would. I’ve found that I kind of like it. It gives me peace to know that I can take my time and do the little things that will then lead to big improvements when added up all together. Patience and perseverance with myself will be the key to making lifelong changes and will free me from the mindset that I have to get all these self-improvements done in a certain time frame. You are so patient with me, Lord, and now it’s time for me to be patient with myself. I’m so grateful for Your love that gently guides me to strive for a better version of myself. You know the one? The person You created and destined me to become. The godly woman. And that’s exactly what I’m working hard to become, each and every single day.

I love You, Lord. Thank You for loving me, as I am, with all my flaws and cracks. You see me through eyes that love unconditionally, and give grace and mercy even when I’ve failed You, and continue to pursue me regardless of my sinful nature. That’s just who You are. Love. Pure love. And so today, this second day of another new year, I choose to serve You and to love You with all my heart, my soul, my being. You are and always will be my first love. I’m so grateful You are longsuffering and are the God of second, third, fourth and millions of more chances.

Amen.

Dear God: Christmas Eve, 2022 Edition

Christian

Dear God, today I’m feeling a little lonely and I’m not sure why, other than my grown children are not home for a visit and are instead celebrating with their extended families elsewhere. While I am happy because they have more family to spend the holidays with, it still leaves me a tiny bit sad and wishing for the days when they were much younger.

I know You remember those days, Lord, when our home was filled to the brim with the sights and sounds of one of my favorite times of the year. In those days the house was noisy with kids running around, laughing, arguing, and playing, all while anticipating the moment when they could finally open the presents under the Christmas tree and discover the secrets I’d been keeping from them. The smell of baking and cooking still lingers in my mind today as I think about the gifts we would make together for our neighbors, friends and family members. Oftentimes I would get so busy that I would forget to mail out Christmas cards or wrap a present hidden in the back of the closet or drawer. My heart longs to tell the younger me to slow down and savor the moments, to sit down and read that story one more time, or to grab my favorite hot tea and sit in the dark watching the twinkling lights of the tree before me.

So instead of allowing myself to be consumed with the loneliness of an empty house and sadness for days gone by, I choose to focus on the original gift that started this tradition of celebrating: Your only Son’s birth. I think of Mary, young and about to become the mother of Jesus, the Son of the living God, in a land far from home and her family, with only her husband, Joseph, to help her in her time of need. I think of Joseph and the burden he carried of desperately trying to find somewhere for them to rest, knowing his wife was about to give birth and yet not being able to find any place warm, clean and comfortable. I think of them both as her labor pains increased and having no access to doctors, nurses or equipment to help bring their baby into the world. It was just the two of them, Father, and yet I’m sure Your sweet presence was surrounding them, bringing comfort and wisdom as the miracle, Your Son, was born into this cold, dark, sinful world.

And then I think about Jesus, the ultimate gift from a loving Father, who chose to leave the riches and beauty of Heaven to come down and walk among us as the Savior of the world. The beauty of your Gift, Father God, brings tears of joy to my eyes and praise to my lips because I know I don’t deserve such an extravagant and loving gift. But I choose to receive this truly amazing gift of love, compassion and forgiveness, knowing that He will save my life and change me to become the person You destined me to be. I am beyond thankful and grateful for Your gift, Father.

With all this said, I am choosing joy over sadness and loneliness as I look at all You have blessed me with instead of what I am missing. As I look at our home, I feel a huge depth of gratitude that words alone cannot express because we are warm, safe, and dry from the elements outside these four walls, knowing that others may not be as fortunate. I feel blessed and honored because I have a church I am able to attend freely and worship You and learn more about Your Word without fear of being martyred. I am blessed by so many wonderful things around me that I cannot continue to dwell on my lonely feelings or wishing for the years that are long gone. I choose to step away from my trip down memory lane and pray for others who so desperately need it.

I pray for those that are separated from their loved ones during this holiday season when so many around them are celebrating and they feel lost and alone. I ask You to fill their longing hearts with a joy that cannot be expressed adequately. I ask You to bless those who are hard at work, keeping our world a safer place in which to live, whether within our communities or to the farthest reaches of the world, and keep them safe today. I ask You to bless those in ministry who give up so much of their time for the sake of ministering to lost souls and give them a fresh annointing so they may continue to further Your kingdom. I ask You to bless those who have no home, no family and no hope. Father, open their eyes to the truth of the Christmas season and let them know they are not alone as You embrace them in Your loving arms. Give them hope where they feel there is none and let Your sweet presence surround about them, showering them with a love so real they can feel it deep inside their hearts and minds.

Bless those who have lost loves ones and feel sadness instead of joy. Bless those who are ill or in pain and make them aware that You are near. Ease their aches and pains and give them a deep rest that nourishes their bodies, minds and hearts. Bless those who are taking care of the sick and give them a sense of joy for the good they are doing. Bless the children who may be without their parents or families today and let them know Your love and care is real and You are not far off, but very near instead. Bless and protect the first responders, the ministers in countries where they are in fear for their lives and those of their families and congregations, and those who are standing up for the belief in Jesus against a world that seems to have forgotten the gift You gave us so long ago. And finally, I pray for those who feel completely alone and forgotten, thinking no one cares about them. I pray You would fill their hearts and minds with Your great love and put somone in their path who will demonstrate that same love by leading them to You. I pray they would not make any rash decisions for their own lives based on what they may feel right now, but would instead surrender to You and Your love which will give them life eternal. I pray the Word of God would be given to them and they would feel an urgency to read it and understand its words completely.

In Your Name I pray, Amen and Amen.