Dear God,

While most people are busy trying to live up to their New Year’s resolutions right now, I’m sitting here relaxed because, for the first time in many, many years, I have chosen not to make any such promises to myself to change my self-professed bad habits. Outside of walking closer with You and spending more time in the Word, prayer and praising You, I’ve decided not to make a list of what I hope to successfully overcome throughout the year ahead, but to instead focus on improving things one at a time without the list that begins on the first day of this new year and ends on the last. I chose to do this because every year for as long as I can remember I have made resolutions and then failed at them miserably by the middle of January. That always leads to self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy because I can’t seem to follow a simple diet and exercise plan or keep my promises for a cleaner, more organized house, and the list goes on and on. I know You know that I have a running list in my head of things I’d like to accomplish this year, but by refusing to write them down I feel like I am giving myself permission to keep trying even when I may be failing a little bit. I’m not saying that there aren’t things that don’t need improvement in me, because there certainly are, but what I am saying is that I won’t write them down and then beat myself up at the end of this year when I look back and realize just how little I managed to successfully complete from my list of “New Year’s Resolutions”.

While this idea of writing down or declaring resolutions works for so many people, Lord, I have found that for myself it only leads to disappointments and regrets because I am such a perfectionist. That’s the type of personality that You gave me but now You are teaching me how to bring out the best of that personality trait through relying on You and Your guidance daily. You are teaching me to let things go and not work so hard to be absolutely perfect because You do love me just as I am. Trying to be perfect is an impossible dream and I’m not trying to live up to that any longer. You’ve shown me that life is just too short to be filled with regrets and feeling like a failure all the time. I’m just choosing to keep my head free and clear of things that take away my joy or make me feel as if I don’t measure up to the rest of the world just because I can’t keep to a list of changes that need to be done in one year’s time. And it’s been kind of freeing, to be honest, but You already knew that it would. I’ve found that I kind of like it. It gives me peace to know that I can take my time and do the little things that will then lead to big improvements when added up all together. Patience and perseverance with myself will be the key to making lifelong changes and will free me from the mindset that I have to get all these self-improvements done in a certain time frame. You are so patient with me, Lord, and now it’s time for me to be patient with myself. I’m so grateful for Your love that gently guides me to strive for a better version of myself. You know the one? The person You created and destined me to become. The godly woman. And that’s exactly what I’m working hard to become, each and every single day.

I love You, Lord. Thank You for loving me, as I am, with all my flaws and cracks. You see me through eyes that love unconditionally, and give grace and mercy even when I’ve failed You, and continue to pursue me regardless of my sinful nature. That’s just who You are. Love. Pure love. And so today, this second day of another new year, I choose to serve You and to love You with all my heart, my soul, my being. You are and always will be my first love. I’m so grateful You are longsuffering and are the God of second, third, fourth and millions of more chances.

Amen.